10:16 PM

bonjour, motherfuckers. i've returned. this time post-grandma-death! im literally coping by just womp womp'ing myself its so sigma tbh. also i got like one good picture of the eclipse, here

watched the x files again last night after not being home for a week and i fell asleep after like an hour. when i woke up my toothbrush was in my bed. i don't know how that happened.

8:10 PM TW ed.. again

i cant actually eat anymore. i tried and i feel so sick and everything hurts. im trying to drink a fucking smoothie and i cant even drink it in sips longer than a second i feel so weak and sick and cold and i wanna throw up but i cant and my stomach hurts like hell but i cant eat it hurts more. i think my sister was like this too but i never noticed. makes sense

1:32 PM TW ed

i feel like shit. ive been throwing up for the past half an hour cuz my stupid brain attempted to eat something without thinking of the consequences. i still absorbed the calories even if i get the disgusting slop out of my body i feel so dirty and i have a dinner planned for later. im gonna order a salad and diet coke and pray to fucking god. i feel like im rotting from the inside out but i cant stop. because stupid 2022 me decided to start skipping lunch and my dumb brain got self-conscious now i cant even live normally like a normal fucking person without constantly thinking about food and shit and i need to be clean and every goddamn day i look in the mirror and at the scale and i pretend some shit has changed but its all the same and ill never achieve it but i cant fucking stop i need to be . im so cold all the time and a week or so ago i started throwing up in gym from overexertion but nothing even came out because i hadnt eaten and nobody cares which no shit people dont notice that stuff but it just got me thinking. but boys cant even have eating disorders so.

1:55 PM

womp womp. 'nother vaguepost cuz u said ud change but u didnt do shit!!! its like every single fuckin day you get randomly pissed at me for actually no reason & i ask why and ur all like "i shouldnt have to tell you." ??? IS THAT HELPING??? AND MOST OF THE TIME ITS CUZ I SAID SOMETHING STUPID LIKE "ur ex has bad taste" meanwhile im literally dating ur ex!!1!! and u get randomly fuckin gacha 2018 emo depressed ass at me and act like a total bitch,., u can insult me alll you want apparently but the moment i make a dumb joke suddenly im a horrible person and everything is my fault???? if ur gunna dish that shit out you should expect to get it in return asshole!!!

9:54 PM

i was supposed to write this way earlier but whoopsies!! i got distracted and forgot to save. everything is good now and sigma. also i was forced to do makeup (i wanted to) and i think i kind of slayed. does this count as drag? unrelated but we ordered some snacks and when it got here they accidentally gave us a bunch of other stuff so neat!

6:14 AM

i fucked up a little but also ive never done anything wrong ever in my life and everything has always been something elses fault and i havenever done a single bad thing at all ever no way (this is ironic) not to be cringe but i actually cant stand myself right now but also that wasnt me it was some weird manic me and also i havent had coffee yet i should kill myself

8:43 AM

had coffee and it just made it worse im actually ruining everything rn but also they blocked me,., i still wanna be friends its just annoying how theyve never apologized for anything and assume everyone around them can read minds. also theyre very flaky!!! i can think of several times theyve told me they wanted to do something, we planned it, and suddenly they just "arent feeling it" and dip. its annoying! i get im not a fucking saint or whatever but can you at least respond about what im saying youre doing instead of pointing out something i did? (something that doesnt even relate to this at all) ur just being a bitch!!! youre putting it on me cuz u cant be assed to evensuggest maybe youve done something wrong!!!!

6:22 AM

my shift key is doinged. more importantly, a few members of food court (p & batzy) came to my house. we had a fun time. also food court first video real?! its so freakin stupid. we got a bunch tho im working on em ^_^

9:10 PM

i feel good but also bad. i should write a vaguepost that's very obviously about dan that'd be so sexy of me. anyways time to tell you all of my troubles because noone else will listen. i don't feel proud of anything i do creatively or academically. everything i make looks like shit which is a little upsetting. okay vaguepost time. i guess it's not really vague if i say who it's about huh. anyway dan dont read this non-dan eyes only ahhheemmm.,.,.,. okay so like, i love you and all, but sometimes you can be a real dick!!!!! you're also really hypocritical at times, but not even in a funny way. things are only bad when you decide they are and then you blow up at people even if youve done the same things and encouraged them to do it and then you have the audacity to be like "you know what you did." when someone asks what they did wrong like?? clearly not if theyre asking!!! maybe they didnt!!! also youre a pretentious ass bastard not even in a funny silly billy way. why cant you just be silly and stop being a jerk all the time??? it's really annoying..,,. also you make everything about you,,. "my band" ... no. it's. it's ours. also you won't let me have anything to myself,., noone here lets me have any sort of identity except for batzy i swear to god!!! let me have things that i do!!! we all wanna be fuckin special so can you just let me have a stupid joke? or a dumbass podcast? stop trying to insert yourself into every little thing. it doesnt fucking involve you. youre so defensive the moment anyone even barely picks apart something you like, or even you, you act like a fucking asshole but when you do it it's fine i guess. alright im done. also sharpie is mine. you gave him swirly eyes and his color palette but you can't control what i do with him in the story so stop trying!!! just get off my ass in general!!!!!!

6:06 AM

sigh we're out of my good coffee.... forced to drink this watery ass covfefe.... so sad............ horrible events.... also my alien socks are supposed to arrive today!!!!!!!!! i also ordered minecraft creeper boxers ironically i swear but those are coming later. i woke up a few minutes later than usual because for some reason my thermostat decided it was a good idea to go down to 67 degrees (fahrenheit) randomly :((((

8:20 PM

my moms still not home,,,.,., this is later than usual but its fine

6:12 AM

i'm getting a late start to the day because i had to kill a little roach. his name was iguana and he had a wife and kids and after i killed him his corpse kept spasming. also i put the kettle to boil without any water in it im so sad. also imagine having a whole species of cockroach named after you *glances at americans*

9:59 PM

GOODNIGHT!

11:02 AM

hsgdfhasf i burnt my finger,.,.,. i now have 3 burns on one hand because of how much i suck at cooking........ this is just like breadgate

7:09 PM

i have a BIRLFRIEND!!!!!!! it's fuckning P!!!!!!!!!!

6:49 AM

drinking coffee at my desk before school. just checked my grades and im pissed cuz my english grade is a 95 (which is good) but it could be better the way they weigh grades is stupid,,. i have above a 95 in 13/16 of my assignments so far but WHATEVER (also!!! only one of the grades above 95 isn't an 100)

2:38 PM

ok so now he's started copying my cannibalism???? and writing shit vents to get pity from anyone he can. fuck this guy. no shit we hate you, you suck. if you don't wanna be hated so bad figure it out. maybe if everyone hates you you're the problem!!! noone's required to feel bad for you. :) we all know youre trying to get her to pity you or you wouldnt show her that goddamn page, asshole. also you hit me today!!! yeowch!!! if you're upset cuz u read the rant., cry abt it!! ^_^ also you hate dogs wtf?? & ur not cool for glancing up at me with a dirty ass look and ignoring me after.,.,. I JUST NEED A RULER asshat

6:07 AM

happy valentines day!!!!! as of right now my platonic valentine is batzy. i hope this changes. :3 also i was mad as heck yesterday what the scallop?! he deserves it tho

7:28 PM

yeah noone asked me lol..,,. i found a moth in the pool (not mine) and saved it. i named him vincent and released him when he could fly. i also found two dead bugs on the patio (again, not mine) need help identifying all of them,,.. finger for scale. florida btw

the lil guy is def a bee but ,.., what kind??? the other one looks like some kinda hornet or wasp but im so eepy rn... looks to be a paper wasp but i dont trust myself

this is the only time you'll ever see me wearing red

6:39 PM

i am currently home alone on my computer. i was in this same situation yesterday and i will be for every single weekday. and i'm glad about that! one small issue. i am extremely paranoid. and for good reason, too, because the things watching me know i know. they're studying me. they're watching me because i know too much. i tried telling this to someone online and they said they were hallucinations and i was schizophrenic. i am not. i see them and i hear them and i feel them and they are real. i had a meltdown yesterday over it because i saw one under my bed. it was looking at me, and i cried. the door at the end of the hallway which used to be my sister's is now empty. the door does not close. it is dark in there. moving on from this topic, i was playing amogus yesterday with batzy to relive 2021 and someone was mad at me for not being a mind reader. i was describing my dream model train layout and they said "im gonna burn your trains," so i did the reasonable thing and started threatening them. i got kicked from the server.

7:50 PM

hehhehe i made a smoothie and also me and batzy call his cat "stinky son" now and i love him so much little itty bitty kitty. also i hate this bitch ass kid in my class im not gonna say is name because he knows my site but he knows who he is. fucking punk ass loser you think you're better than everyone else because you can boost your word count with meaningless elaboration and repition with long ass quotes to make it look longer while adding no real substance,..,,. youre not "just good at elaborating :)" youre a poopyhead also i know you think youre better than me but really youre a loser who can't even bother to try and be interesting also noone gives a fuck that you like a fictional character or that the book youre reading is just sooo advanced!!!! stfu also u chose ur name as a fnaf reference. bitch. ur trying so hard to appear cool without actually caring enough to be a decent human being. you're insufferable. every time i tell you i dont like you and you respond "i hate you too" you think we're even but we're not literally everyone else fucking hates your guts. atleast i can have humor. speaking of humor your laugh sounds like fucking nails on a chalkboard & noone thinks you're funny!!!!! and if you ever read this you'd think i was just being mean and you wouldnt bother to realize what a shit person you are. either that or you'd say you do, but you wont try to work on it at all. you'd fucking say "i can't, im trying.. :(((" like stfu. if i could so can you. also its fucking weird as hell how you copy every little thing i do. even my fucking stimming??? thats weird as hell. also noone gives a shit that youre just soooo smart for being two years ahead in math. i am too and so is TAJ. you dont see us bragging about it ya little twerp i wanna fuck you i mean fuck you up. cant believe i used to think you were hot. also ur a pathological liar & a jackass and u take photos like a middle aged man & also youve said before you hate neurodivergent people because theyre "annoying".... thats just fucked up

12:30 PM

my grandma was just diagnosed with stage four cancer. i found out a few hours ago. my mother was with her in the hospital last night and i was home alone but i felt it, i knew.

2:33 PM

FUCKING PISSED!!!!!!!!!!

1:57 PM

in computer science again. earlier some guy kept asking to see my dick because he didn't "trust" that i was cis. now my friends are all saying that my dick is small, i am absolutely broken from this heartless and merciless teasing. i will never recover from this.

9:30 AM

i am writing this sitting in the waiting room of the orthodontist (i dont even know what for). i am oh-so-bored and also my throat hurts, but thankfully this will cause me to miss my algebra class again (not thankfully, i already missed a week of it im not excited to come back) i decided to start a blog because i tend to have no idea what's going on in my daily life.

2:10 PM

i am now in my computer science class and i am extremely ready to go home. the person sitting next to me compared me to sheldon cooper earlier today, in 5th period, because of my enthusiasm directed towards model trains. this is the most devestating insult i have ever recieved. also i have to write an essay

2:44 PM

SHE KEEPS CALLING ME YOUNG SHELDON

8:07 PM

a GIRL just texted me??? what the fuck???