1:15 AM

I am nobody's first choice.

3:44 PM

been a while since i put anything here but something happened recently that i cant really contain in those stupid posts i make. on the 14th, dan, who i previously thought was one of my best friends, removed me and batzy from a gc (at the time i didn't know she removed me, i thought it was a glitch so i texted her asking what happened and if she could add me back, didn't respond and hasn't responded since.) i had to learn through another friend that she did it because she was tired of me insulting her. now, i admit i had been insulting her, but each time it was something we had been doing as friends, as a joke for a while. not once did she talk to me about it or how she felt, so i couldnt've, well, known. but i'm not here to complain about her more-- the two times i did on this blog (since deleted for reasons) were just complaints made in moments of frustration n shit. nyway, it just recently set in because ive been busy the past two weeks. all i'm here to say is that i feel like shit. i miss her, and i really did care about her and i tried to show that but i don't think she felt the same way at all. and there were so many times where i couldve been a better friend, done better things, not said shit. i could've been so much more patient and everything (to be fair to myself, she never set boundaries and was. well. hot & cold, hit song by katy perry) and i know im making this all about me, but it's my blog, isn't it? going on self-pitying rants on the public internet because of what, insecurity?? i could just be journalling this right now. okay enough meta criticism im already upset. it felt so out of nowhere, and im still not quite sure what set it off because she hasn't talked to me at all and refused when a mutual friend asked. okay im out this was lame and pathetic of me.

10:34 AM

i am. back. again. been longer than i thought since i wrote here. weirdly enough, not much has actually happened in my life. right now i can't think of anything, but i might eventually. i finished reading a really good book called intensity by dean koontz and vess is legiterally me but not in an edgy sigma male way he's just babygirl,, also im getting my id piccy taken today and my outfit is pretty awepic

10:16 PM

bonjour, motherfuckers. i've returned. this time post-grandma-death! im literally coping by just womp womp'ing myself its so sigma tbh. also i got like one good picture of the eclipse, here

watched the x files again last night after not being home for a week and i fell asleep after like an hour. when i woke up my toothbrush was in my bed. i don't know how that happened.

9:54 PM

i was supposed to write this way earlier but whoopsies!! i got distracted and forgot to save. everything is good now and sigma. also i was forced to do makeup (i wanted to) and i think i kind of slayed. does this count as drag? unrelated but we ordered some snacks and when it got here they accidentally gave us a bunch of other stuff so neat!

6:22 AM

my shift key is doinged. more importantly, a few members of food court (p & batzy) came to my house. we had a fun time.

6:06 AM

sigh we're out of my good coffee.... forced to drink this watery ass covfefe.... so sad............ horrible events.... also my alien socks are supposed to arrive today!!!!!!!!! i also ordered minecraft creeper boxers ironically i swear but those are coming later. i woke up a few minutes later than usual because for some reason my thermostat decided it was a good idea to go down to 67 degrees (fahrenheit) randomly :((((

8:20 PM

my moms still not home,,,.,., this is later than usual but its fine

6:12 AM

i'm getting a late start to the day because i had to kill a little roach. his name was iguana and he had a wife and kids and after i killed him his corpse kept spasming. also i put the kettle to boil without any water in it im so sad. also imagine having a whole species of cockroach named after you *glances at americans*

9:59 PM

GOODNIGHT!

11:02 AM

hsgdfhasf i burnt my finger,.,.,. i now have 3 burns on one hand because of how much i suck at cooking........ this is just like breadgate

6:49 AM

drinking coffee at my desk before school. just checked my grades and im pissed cuz my english grade is a 95 (which is good) but it could be better the way they weigh grades is stupid,,. i have above a 95 in 13/16 of my assignments so far but WHATEVER (also!!! only one of the grades above 95 isn't an 100)

6:07 AM

happy valentines day!!!!! as of right now my platonic valentine is batzy. i hope this changes. :3 also i was mad as heck yesterday what the scallop?! he deserves it tho

7:28 PM

yeah noone asked me lol..,,.

6:39 PM

i am currently home alone on my computer. i was in this same situation yesterday and i will be for every single weekday. and i'm glad about that! one small issue. i am extremely paranoid. and for good reason, too, because the things watching me know i know. they're studying me. they're watching me because i know too much. i tried telling this to someone online and they said they were hallucinations and i was schizophrenic. i am not. i see them and i hear them and i feel them and they are real. i had a meltdown yesterday over it because i saw one under my bed. it was looking at me, and i cried. the door at the end of the hallway which used to be my sister's is now empty. the door does not close. it is dark in there. moving on from this topic, i was playing amogus yesterday with batzy to relive 2021 and someone was mad at me for not being a mind reader. i was describing my dream model train layout and they said "im gonna burn your trains," so i did the reasonable thing and started threatening them. i got kicked from the server.

7:50 PM

hehhehe i made a smoothie and also me and batzy call his cat "stinky son" now and i love him so much little itty bitty kitty.

2:33 PM

FUCKING PISSED!!!!!!!!!!

1:57 PM

in computer science again. earlier some guy kept asking to see my dick because he didn't "trust" that i was cis. now my friends are all saying that my dick is small, i am absolutely broken from this heartless and merciless teasing. i will never recover from this.

9:30 AM

i am writing this sitting in the waiting room of the orthodontist (i dont even know what for). i am oh-so-bored and also my throat hurts, but thankfully this will cause me to miss my algebra class again (not thankfully, i already missed a week of it im not excited to come back) i decided to start a blog because i tend to have no idea what's going on in my daily life.

2:10 PM

i am now in my computer science class and i am extremely ready to go home. the person sitting next to me compared me to sheldon cooper earlier today, in 5th period, because of my enthusiasm directed towards model trains. this is the most devestating insult i have ever recieved. also i have to write an essay

2:44 PM

SHE KEEPS CALLING ME YOUNG SHELDON

8:07 PM

a GIRL just texted me??? what the fuck???